I think I may have some sort of hormonal imbalance, I’m not even joking. Lately, let’s say for the past two weeks or so, I am heart-eyed over men. It’s true that I have always liked men, even when they were throwing gummi bears at me during a parent-sanction viewing of “Tremors”. This recent development, though: it seems excessive, not unlike the time I brought three freshly-sharpened number 2 pencils to a 1-hour physics test. Some examples of thoughts I have had that make me thing my brain is over-(or under-?)sexed or perhaps that I am falling rather gently and pleasantly into an exclusively heterosexual female variety of dementia:

“Men are kinda sexy when they handle their wallets, aren’t they?”

“It’s so adorable to watch men eat.”

I leave it to each of you to decide (quietly, and on your own, please), whether these make my mental state sound more like that of a tween or a grandma, or some sort of frightening hybrid that might be featured on “CSI”. (“No, she’s not 11 or 75…she’s 33.” (GASP!))

Wallets are a turn-on for me now? The mind reels.

Continuing to turn me on, let’s all welcome back Alexander Skarsgard.

I don’t even have to do a spoiler-type disclaimer about this past Sunday’s episode of “True Blood”, because I don’t really care about any of it any more except Eric Northman and his increasingly major storyline. Only three episodes left of this season. At that point, I suppose I’ll have to start watching “Generation Kill” and copious amounts of Swedish movies.

The thought of watching Swedish movies fills me with dread. I don’t believe I have ever seen a good one. I also don’t believe that most DVD releases are set up to roll in Swedish with English subtitles. A few months ago, I watched “Let the Right One In”, which is a wintry, teenage vampire story. The presence of a vampire could not counteract the difficulties I faced in watching it with any one the following options:

- In Swedish
- Dubbed in English
- Dubbed in English with English subtitles

No kidding: dubbed in English with English subtitles. That makes no sense whatsoever. After a while it was kind of amusing as I played games along with the movie action:

- How many tucked in sweaters will appear on screen?
(Many)

- How many times will the English subtitles NOT match the dubbed English?
(Every time)

- When will I stop laughing at the sweaters?
(Never)

A quick search of IMDB reveals that they are remaking the movie in the US. Who wants to bet that the glacier-speed storyline of the Swedish version will be spiced up with some incest and exploding heads for the US release? (Me.)

k.